PUBLISHED
January 11, 2026
KARACHI:
There are dangerous movies. Then there are worse movies. After which some movies sit past the worst—an unenviable class that Huma Shaikh’s Merchandise proudly occupies. From a poster that screams cringe to a trailer that confirms it, the movie in the end blossoms right into a full-fledged cringe fest. Attaining this stage of discomfort isn’t any small feat.
Merchandise claims to be a movie about feminine empowerment. It additionally claims to focus on the plight of girls labelled “gadgets” for daring to step exterior their properties to earn a residing. In actuality, it does neither. As an alternative, it operates on two deeply flawed assumptions: that each one males are evil and the viewers is silly.
Fortunately, neither are all males evil, neither is the viewers silly. That’s the reason most critics endure 142 minutes of cinematic torture—so that you don’t need to.
After enduring Merchandise, I made a decision to do an excellent deed: explaining, in 5 easy steps, why movies like Merchandise deserve to stay within the can. Releasing them actively harms real filmmakers—those that know find out how to pull audiences towards Pakistani cinema slightly than push them away. Our business wants these filmmakers excess of these so-called “gadgets,” which do little for anybody’s psychological well being.
Merchandise ought to have stayed within the can
The movie that doesn’t know what it’s saying claims to be “a daring and full industrial mainstream characteristic movie” with a “delicate message” exposing society’s hypocrisy—the place girls are idolised on display screen however disrespected in actual life. Let’s begin with the fundamentals: the movie is neither daring nor industrial. It isn’t even a contemporary mainstream characteristic movie and appears like one thing that you just would possibly catch on Filmazia whereas switching channels. If something, it’s a cringe fest that opens with a mujra masquerading as an merchandise music. On the finish of that quantity, an actor who has been throwing cash on the dancer like his colleagues says, “Kia merchandise hai,” and kick-starts a painful journey that lasts greater than two hours.
The director seems confused about what an “merchandise” even is. When was the final time a profitable mannequin was randomly picked to carry out an merchandise quantity with none groundwork? Sadaf Kanwal involves thoughts, however she had the persona, grace, and prior appearing expertise to justify her merchandise quantity in Na Maloom Afraad 2. Amna Ilyas did one thing related in Mehrunisa V Lub U and Chaudhry – The Martyr, however she was already a much more achieved actress.
Against this, the full of Mahi’s (Aliya Ali) journey is conveyed by way of a slide that reads: 5 Years Later. That’s it, from being suggested to attempt modelling to changing into an merchandise lady—5 phrases on a display screen. In my e book, that’s neither feminism nor empowerment. It’s lazy filmmaking dressed up as social commentary. The viewers isn’t silly, which is why they are going to be as bewildered as I used to be when an office-going lady from a lower-middle-class neighborhood magically transforms right into a profitable mannequin with no trace of wrestle, however with a wig that doesn’t even look well-made.
Laziness has by no means helped any business
Aliya Ali could also be a reliable TV actress, however as in style TV and movie actress Humaima Malick as soon as put it, “a movie heroine needs to be somebody the viewers can gloat over and fantasise about.” The refreshments I consumed throughout the screening had extra spark than the movie’s merchandise numbers, which have been shot on the identical stage, carried out like a faculty tableau, and featured dances greatest forgotten the second you exit the cinema. Why one of many songs randomly incorporates the James Bond theme is anybody’s guess.
In interviews, and a clip that has gone viral as a consequence of its madness, Aliya Ali claimed that throughout the taking pictures of the daring songs, the male crew was instructed to look away. Sarcastically, which may be essentially the most correct assertion made throughout the movie’s promotions, as a result of the songs look as in the event that they have been filmed with none supervision in any respect—as if the choreographer was sleeping, the cameraman was out of the room, and everybody else was, fairly actually, “made to look away.” Had the movie actually been daring, it will have earned a bolder ranking from the censor board, which it didn’t. Worse, the lead efficiency all through is so laid-back and so aggressively Sixties that even the dance numbers fail to land.
Scenes like the daddy dying after slapping his daughter, an aunt blaming her niece’s job for her father’s loss of life, a younger couple getting stranded in a relaxation home throughout a climate calamity, and a woman singing within the mountains with the hero as the only real onlooker ought to have been killed on paper, as they turned irrelevant within the final millennium. But they’re half and parcel of Merchandise and make you wish to examine the calendar—solely to be shocked that it’s 2025 or 2026, not a 12 months beginning with 19, belonging to the 20th century.
Pakistani-American actor Azad Khan (Hala, The Winery, Mumtaz Mahal) is the movie’s lone saving grace, although even he feels misplaced. He would have thrived in a Sixties setup—three-piece fits, wealthy males falling for courtesans or girls with “dangerous reputations,” and mama’s boys with hearts of gold. Why he selected this mission stays a thriller. His unfamiliarity with up to date Pakistani cinema might have helped the movie, but it surely definitely didn’t assist his profession.
Behroze Sabzwari seems because the lady’s injured father—each bodily and mentally—and is granted precisely two scenes, very like his senior co-star Sangeeta Rizvi, who continues to shout her means by roles for causes unknown. Their banter a couple of younger lady searching for work in a male-dominated world might need felt related within the Sixties. In 2025, it feels just like the script was written by somebody who awoke after a 50-year nap and determined to lecture us on empowerment.
There isn’t a place for a horrible soundtrack in 2025
Pakistani cinema owes a lot to composer M. Arshad, whose work on Jeeva, Chor Machaye Shor, Hawayein, and Salakhain outlined an period. Sadly, he hasn’t produced something memorable within the final 20 years—and Merchandise makes that painfully clear.
The soundtrack sounds ripped straight from the Nineties, full with the outdated trope of recycling the identical unhappy music with completely different singers. One in every of them is Humera Channa, the undisputed queen of ’90s filmi music—however nostalgia alone can’t save a weak composition.
M. Arshad’s remake of Bijli Bhari Hai (initially composed by his father, M. Ashraf) feels extra private than skilled. Whereas Maan Jao Na paid tribute to the music way more successfully—solely to be reprimanded by rights holders—this model collapses below dangerous choreography, low cost units, and uninspired vocals. Aima Baig’s Velo Sound Station rendition from 5 years in the past feels extra up to date than this butchered remake. Had the movie been named Bijli, it might need appeared related, however not like the unique Bijli lady Mumtaz, this one feels prefer it’s operating on an outdated generator.
Rip-off movies like merchandise should be studied
Why name Merchandise a rip-off movie? As a result of movies like this—and there are various—deserve educational scrutiny. How did any investor comply with fund a mission that appears unviable to the skilled eye? What satisfied seasoned actors like Ismat Zaidi and Mariam Mirza to signal on? Why did the filmmakers ignore distributors who certainly warned them that releasing the movie alongside Avatar: Hearth and Ash could be industrial suicide?
Each filmmaker believes they’re doing one thing new—not less than in their very own head. Huma Shaikh appears impressed by Bollywood movies like Style and Heroine, which critiqued the leisure business with depth and craft. What she failed to grasp is that replicating that stage of filmmaking right here might take many years. A smaller, easier movie—a rom-com, maybe—might need helped her check the waters. As an alternative, she aimed for Titanic with out realising that even James Cameron needed to wrestle earlier than reaching a degree the place he might make the award-winning basic. No wrestle results in rip-off movies like Merchandise.
Bashir Noman was the actual “Merchandise”
Watch the trailer intently, and also you’ll discover a TV anchor—clearly impressed by Shahzeb Khanzada or Kamran Khan—interviewing Miss Mahi. Frankly, had the director made a movie about this man alone, it might need been successful. Earlier, he seems as a style photographer who will get slapped by a novice Mahi and vows revenge for that thapparr.
How this vengeful photographer transforms right into a prime-time anchor with huge rankings is essentially the most fascinating arc within the movie—sadly unexplored. Maybe Merchandise 2 will likely be his story: a journey from no person to anyone, hopefully instructed with extra substance than a lonely 5 Years Later slide.
In the long run, the movie concludes with a brain-fade second: girls ought to research martial arts in the event that they wish to survive in a male-dominated world. It could be one in every of many issues they might do, however presenting it as the one resolution exposes the mindset behind Merchandise.
All information and knowledge are the only real accountability of the author
Omair Alavi is a contract contributor who writes about movie, tv, and in style tradition
