It’s the center of February, and the air is dry. There are tremendous strains rising on my brow, perhaps as a result of I don’t moisturize sufficient, however perhaps as a harbinger of one thing better: Every day I develop nearer to my very own dying. Quickly, I can be 30. I’ll by no means be youthful than I’m proper now.
Fintech-founder-turned-longevity-guru Bryan Johnson has a suggestion that has caught my consideration. For the low, low value of $1 million per 12 months, I will pay him to indicate me the ropes of the “actual protocol” he’s adopted for the final 5 years. He calls this system “Immortals.”
Sure, a man who has acquired botox injections in his genitals will train me the right way to supposedly reverse the method of getting old. Why shouldn’t I imagine that Bryan Johnson has uncovered the secrets and techniques to dwelling longer than some other human? No, he has not but confirmed his capability to survive all different people. He was born in 1977, a 12 months wherein many present people had been born.
However why would I doubt the judgment of a man who fortified his structure with blood from his teenage son? When have the tech elite ever misled us? Ought to I additionally query when Elon Musk says that saving for retirement is irrelevant as a result of AGI will create an financial abundance so nice that nobody will ever know poverty once more?
Based on Johnson’s submit on X, this unique service — solely three spots can be found! — will embody “a devoted concierge group, BryanAI 24/7, in depth testing, thousands and thousands of organic information factors, steady monitoring, finest pores and skin and hair protocols, and entry to the most effective therapies on market.”
I can discuss to the AI model of a man who livestreams himself doing shrooms for “science”? Signal me up!
Besides I can’t. As a result of I wouldn’t have $1 million. These like me should accept shopping for Johnson’s overpriced olive oil in our pursuit of immortality (it’s peppery and smooth!).
Techcrunch occasion
Boston, MA
|
June 23, 2026
My emergent brow wrinkle intensifies with the data that Johnson will seemingly have a straightforward time filling up these three $1 million spots. Among the many ultrawealthy, longevity has develop into an more and more sizzling pursuit.
John Hering, who has given Musk billions of {dollars} in backing, co-founded Biograph, which describes itself as a preventative well being and diagnostics clinic. Its most premium membership prices $15,000 a 12 months (subsequent to Johnson’s providing, it virtually looks like an excellent deal … virtually). An identical startup, Fountain Life, has raised $108 million to fund its “final longevity program,” which prices a $21,500 annual price. Certain, Johnson’s program is much more costly, however bear in mind, there’s solely three spots! And in case you’re nonetheless not able to shell out seven figures, nicely, you’ll be able to entry a imprecise “supported tier” for $60,000.
There’s nothing mistaken with eager to stay an extended, more healthy life, however longevity influencers like Johnson take this to an excessive that’s unattainable and (frequent sense would say) completely pointless for the typical individual.
In his protection, Johnson isn’t attempting to proselytize us all into taking 100 pills a day and subsisting largely on boiled greens. However he’s additionally not depriving us of the prospect to make him richer in change for his “secrets and techniques.”
